Apparently, I want to "live intensely" (according to quiz) at first glance this seems positive, even intriguing, but on further inspection the phrase a bit disturbing. It's doesn't say "live a good life" or even "a happy life." An intense life could easily be tragic and sad (think Edie Sedgewick, Sylvia Plath, and countless unremembered others). Yet, even pondering this I know that it's true--I do want an intense life; I want to feel things and have experiences. Like in my favorite Jean Harlow song Reckless, "I'm gonna LIVE long, LEARN a lot, I'll light my candle, and I'll BURN a lot!" You know you're alive when you feel pain. It's frightening however to see how willing I am to hurt myself in the name of life and experiences; how I need to feel something intensely to know that it is real.
And yet, another very cautious side of my shies away from it all. I protect myself from emotional attachments and points of potential embarrassment. Some people would say I would prefer a quieter life. But in another way this is a side of the intensity in me--I don't waste my time with things I only find mildly interesting, or people I don't see myself becoming close to.
I'm not certain I will be successful or even happy, but I suppose if I know I am taking risks and trying things that will be a sort of happiness.
Here's some of what I bought: two new beaded vintage bags and a belt.
What Makes A Good Life?
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